|
Now airing on PrideVision, Woods needs
to finish the third feature, Pimp and Ho: Queer Fashion Crime Models,
within two days before sending the work to Germany, where it will play
at Verzaubert, the country’s largest gay and lesbian film festival.
While Woods has flamed through a poke at the blaxploitation and spy
genres, does he have enough gay pride left to finish the final scenes
of the new gangster themed episode?
Unwilling to jeopardize international relations with the severely buff
Germans, fab decided to help Woods with his editing and inspire him
with some songs. Summoning him to the fab labs, we handed him the gayest
new MP3 gadgetry, the Panasonic E-Wear SK Audio Player. We stocked it
with powerful, top-secret homo files like Britney, Enrique, Anastacia
and Kylie, 17 in total fitting on the postage stamp-sized disk. While
the player itself is itty-bitty (it’s almost the size of a sports
watch), Woods is charitable. "We won’t judge it by its size,"
he demures. "It’s all about performance."
Skipping through the tracks, Woods approves of the sound quality. But
some of the functions are a little tricky to navigate. "I can edit
a TV show on my computer, but I can’t figure this out," he
says. The player offers an equalizer function to flip between two degrees
of bass and the cryptic "train" mode, which the instruction
manual says "eliminates sounds that others may find annoying."
Woods declares our "train" is broken. "I still hear Britney,"
he moans.
Woods thinks the pint-sized player would be the perfect undercover accessory,
as it’s easily smuggle-able in your pants pocket. He’d like
to see this technology fall into the right hands - those certain gym
bunnies, who he’s noticed stumbling into a common fashion faux
pas on the treadmill. "Some people have walkmans and Discmans,
but they have fanny packs to put them in. Fanny packs? Ecchhh! I don’t
know. They might’ve made a comeback in Europe, but I don’t
think they’re hitting North American markets anytime soon."
Way Out West TV airs Sundays at 6pm and replays Thursdays at 7:30pm
on PrideVision. The second installment on Pimp and Ho: License to Queer,
debuts Oct. 13th. The Panasonic E-Wear Audio Player retails for $329.95. |
